bennyhillifier

anyone who has ever had a cat knows that this is what they do

I hate cats.

this is part of owning a cat - if you can't deal with it or sleep through it, don't get a cat.

My two cats have a 3 ring circus in my bedroom every morning about 30 minutes before my alarm is supposed to go off. I have no idea what they're doing because after raising 2 kittens for the past year I'm immune to this kind of stuff, but it's loud and subsides only when I get up and feed them.

my small cat pushes carina and I to the corner of the bed.

Another rare moment where we agree.

I third that!!!!

i love cats but i'd use my bedroom door to stop this madness

My cat sleeps between me and my girlfriend every night on his back. He is literally sandwiched between us purring the entire night.

I love when my cats nestle with me at night....

Sometimes one of them will start licking my face which is annoying but it means she's hungry.

My cat tells me he's hungry by putting his entire paw in my open mouth as I sleep followed by him screaming in my face. Cute when I write about it, but I want to kill him when he does it.

My cat back home (my mom's house) used to wake me up at 5 am EVERY day by biting my eye lids.

My current 3, are super cool at night. One drives my lady insane, but leaves me alone, and the other 2 just sleep and don't bother us. Lucky I guess.

I had a wonderful cat that i raised from birth, and he would lick my eyelids when i needed to get up for work. I stopped even setting my alarm because he always did it right before it went off. I think maybe he got sick of the sound of the alarm, so he learned when to do it. Either cats have a crazy internal clock, or they can read an alarm clock.

Catz ar smrt/

cats are jerks


but i love em.

Hahaha, what a turd cat.

cats are awesome. i love being annoyed by my cat.

Sandpaper tongue on my eyelids? I would punt the cat.

i always woke up right away.

I have two cats. The big one (he's 17) is too old to be a pain in the ass except when he's hungry. The little one though.... I'm pretty tolerant of all the shit he pulls and he knows when to be wicked affectionate so I can't stay mad at him. But last fucking night I come home and he's gotten into my pile of zines and newspapers I've saved over the years and he fucking shredded the copy of the Boston Phoenix from ten years ago that me and Seth were on the cover of!! I was pretty pissed. Its pretty much irreplaceable.

and what you are going to do is swear that you are going to put those zines away where he can't get to them... but you are going to forget and in 3 months he will do it again. ah the human condition.

My cats do this at night:

Video Link

hahahahahaha he plays like Stevie Wonder.

Thats sucks. One of my cats ate the outside of my $100 headphones once. Shit sucked, but irreplacable shit is just wrong.

I had had them in this huge cardboard box, but he shredded the box. So, when I moved from my last apt. to where I am now, the box totally fell apart and I had to throw it out.

rubber maid FTW! go to the xmas section of walmart. they have 29gallon red rubbermaid containers for $5

My cat woke me up the other night because he was constipated (he has intestinal issue) -- he started screaming in the middle of the night so I got up and followed him to the basement. Lo and behold, goes straight to the litter box and forcefully ejects some foul pellets. He then went back to sleep.

The little douche shredding that Phoenix sucks. We had a feral cat that my wife had "rescued". When we bought our house, we somehow captured the little cunt and brought her with us. The fucking thing lived in the basement and came out at night only to shred our brand new couch -- at the time our only nice piece of furniture. That cat ended up having a date with the business end of my .22 -- I generally like cats, but fuck that thing.

My singer's wife is a dog trainer, and rescued an abandoned kitten. Whenever I'm over there it's the nicest cat ever, but they always tell me stories about what an absolute dick it is, and how its favorite thing to do is hang out on the pipes near the ceiling and divebomb people as they walk past.

My big dumb tabby is super sweet and gives guests bear hugs and as soon as they leave he goes back to flogging things off shelves because there's only crumbs left to his food bowl (he eats half of each piece and leaves the other spitty piece in the bowl) and shitting on the floor RIGHT NEXT to his litter box if I don't scoop it to his liking.

haha at least he shits on the floor. if our cat is unsatisfied with his litterbox he shits on whatever clothing is left on my roommates floor.

Haha, I love cats that ambush people. I had a cat years ago that did that. he would actually open the bottom cabinets in the kitchen and wait for one of us to walk by and attack us. Not scratching or anything. it was funny. he would arch his back and hop at us. Classic. I miss that cat.

Dude, my cat that likes to shred stuff, one time I was wicked lazy and didn't clean out the litter box for a few days and he got pissed. So he found an unopened bag of litter, ripped it open, spilled a huge pile of litter on the floor, and took a shit in it.
I was actually kind of impressed. I think if he was physically able, he would've poured it into the litter box.

finally watched that video.... that cat would be in pieces after about hour of that bullshit.

hilarious.

One of the reasons i love cats so much is their sneaky, manipulative nature. I think it's cute.

.....reminds me of me. hehe.