"this subscription to tv guide really sucks ass" -plato
"what time are you getting out of work? we should tie a few on" -socrates
"i can't stand the long lines at dunkin' donuts every morning" -aristotle
"the new facebook really aggravates me" -abraham lincoln
"did you happen to catch the new episode of survivor?" -theodore roosevelt

"i'd like to slap that hoe's ass" -jesus christ

"have you tried the new and improved domino's yet?" -charlemange

"let's go to outback steakhouse and get some of those killer bacon cheese fries" -king henry viii

"it's a real shame that daddy's junky music closed down" -andres segovia

"hold on, let me get my burrito out of the microwave" -genghis khan

"Uh oh, better get Maaco" - Geoffrey Chaucer

"drink bud ice, but beware of the penguins" -kaiser wilhelm

GOOD! I AM NOT THE LEAST FUNNY TROLL HERE! THANK YOU, THINKER!

"rttp is so five years ago" -george washington

"their first album was the best" -napoleon bonaparte

"man, i feel like shit. taco bell got me again." -vercingetorix

samefag is same

and you are the least funny man alive!

i know, a recent list informed me of this.

"Fuck Brids" - Gilgamesh

"Sieg Heil!"-me

"i just got call of duty on xbox 360" louis pasteur

"an arby's chicken bacon and swiss sounds really good right about now" -christopher columbus

"Negro eqaulity? Fudge"- abraham lincoln

"old news"-Aril

you're doing it wrong.

correct manner:
"old news" -john quincy adams

"Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?" - Sir Isaac Newton

"Over that boy hand" - Sheriff of Rottingham

"did you play that new fuckin elder scrolls game" - socrates

- Max Cavalera

bahahahahhaaha

"4g? But I just got 3G!" George Washington on the banks of the Delaware.

"i have to piss like a race horse" -ulysses s. grant

"taste you wild side" - Rudolf Hess

"that's right, i'm also a surgeon!" - Josef Mengele

"There's an app for that." -JFK

"what are you gonna make? hot pockets!" -roger sherman

"pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at suppertime. when pizza's on a bagel, you can eat pizza any time." -julius "little" caesar

"yo dawg, i herd you like cars so we put a car in yo car so you can drive while you drive" -henry ford

that's fucking brilliant.

"you should get a reverse mortgage" -martin luther

"who lives in a pineapple under the sea? absorbent and yellow and porus is he. his nautical nonsense be something you wish. so drop on the deck and flop like a fish" -alexander the great

"i really need to get home now so i can get a good night's sleep before work in the morning" -siddartha

"illud divinium insanus is the best morbid angel release to date" -attila the hun

"these rotten brats had better not even think about setting foot on my lawn or there will be a price to pay" -santa claus

"Kill a cop, killa killa cop cop" - obama

"HEINEKEN?? FUCK THAT SHIT!! PABST! BLUE! RIBBON!" - Frank Booth

"try" - evil yoda

Now this is my plan. Step number one: I will recruit the world's greatest criminal mind. Step number two: I will build an organization so sinister, so powerful, that by comparison La Cosa Nostra will seem like the Vienna Boys' Choir! - Former Chief Inspector Dreyfus

bravo.

"1877 kars for kids, K-A-R-S kars for kids, 1877 kars for kids, donate your car today!"
-friedrich nietzsche

"hey colgate, i tried your toothpaste, and it made me FEEL, LIKE A PIECE, OF SHIT!"
-mary queen of scots

"fuckin asshole wasnt even an actual zumba instructor."
-Winston Churchill

hahahahahaha